I have found myself reflecting on the past a lot lately. During that process, I wrote a few things I wish I could tell my younger self. I don’t know if it is because I am creeping up to my next birthday, all the life changes that have happened recently, or maybe the visits to the beach where I find clarity. Either way, I realized that in order to move forward I had to accept the past and take a moment to look in my rearview mirror.
I know I can’t go back in time, and I truly believe that our experiences are meant to happen, joyfully or not, for a purpose – for growth. I also realize that I wouldn’t be sitting here if life didn’t happen the way it did, and to see all the beauty that has come from the pain I needed to see the lessons that I learned along the way.
So here goes, here are all the things I wish I could go back and tell my younger self if I had the opportunity:
Beauty doesn’t equal happiness
I would tell her that beauty and appearance might seem like the only things that matter in her 20s, but when she gets to her 30s – it is all about how she feels. I would tell her that society will keep telling her how she should look and act, but she will continue to go against the grain – so just keep doing you. Do the type of exercise you love (because cardio dance is FUN!!) and eat the ice cream without guilt. Size up the jeans for better comfort and don’t let the trends make you feel like less (crop tops everywhere – heck no).
Marriage isn’t a fairytale
I would tell her that she WILL find the love of her life when she least expects it. I would tell her she will find a man that respects her and treats her like a QUEEN, so stop looking, he will find you. Marriage is about falling in love over and over again through each stage of life with the same person. That she will learn to love so deeply that even on the hardest days giving up was never an option. That marriage is like a fine wine, it gets better with age. I think back to when I got married in my early 20s, I thought I knew then what love was like, but I had no idea how much more I was going to love this man over a decade later.
Life is so beautiful – don’t let it pass by
I would tell her how beautiful life is, and to take time to smell the roses. That she will endure a long battle of infertility and it will be some of the darkest days of her life, but she will learn that beauty almost always comes after darkness. That there is something so beautiful about that rainbow after the storm. Even after she gets the rainbows, the storms will continue to come. But with each storm comes more beauty, more perspective on life.
Take the vacations
I would tell her that those days are precious. She will learn that the hard way when she loses friends young suddenly. Or when a doctor calls to tell her, “We have found something on your scan”. That money is money and it will come and go. But time… time is finite, when it’s gone, it’s gone and you can’t get it back. Don’t wait until tomorrow to take that day, and do not feel guilty for taking time
There are so many more lessons I have learned over the years that I so desperately wish I could tell my younger self. I would want her to know that failure is okay, and without it, she wouldn’t be who she is. That motherhood is hard, but it is the most beautiful experience she will ever go through.
I would tell her don’t waste time planning out the future that she forgets to live in the present. I would tell her to grow outside the box she has let everyone put her into. To do life scared and say yes to things that make her nervous. Lastly, I would tell her that her children are her most precious gifts and don’t let anyone tell her otherwise. I’d want her to know that even on the hard days she must always remember where she came from.
Is there something you wish you could go back and tell your younger self? If you had the opportunity to give your younger self some advice what would it be?
