Recently, my husband and I were talking about Easter and deciding what we need for the kids. Each year we typically do Easter baskets and a small egg hunt – super manageable and enjoyed by all. But this got us chatting about other traditions we do during the year. They can be quite special or they can really weigh you down. They are often well-intentioned and meant to create lasting memories for your kids. But at times, traditions simply become the things that we have always done, whether we actually enjoy them or not! Nothing says lifelong memory quite like “Well, it has always been done this way.”
Reflecting
We reflected on which traditions mean the most to our family and conversely, the ones that are no longer serving us. It is freeing to let go of things that just don’t fit in our current season of life. And I think that is the key. Looking for the traditions that don’t fit this season of two school-aged kids, two jobs, two dogs, and…so on. It doesn’t have to be abandoned forever. We just need to focus on what works for us in the here and now. Kendra, creator of The Lazy Genius podcast, focuses on this topic a lot and has really helped me bring this into view for our current way of life.
Also, we’ve hit a point in our lives where we feel less concerned about how our lives look to the outside world. How many moms are guilty of dragging their kids to a pumpkin patch just to get a picture for Insta? Same. Or having your kids reach for the perfectly hidden Easter egg one more time because the first shot was blurry? Time to refocus on what really matters to our family and no one else!
The Changes
Looking back over the past year, we realized that somewhat unintentionally, we have already started making some of these shifts. This past fall, as usual, we went pumpkin picking with the kids. We grabbed a cider donut, enjoyed a short hayride, and made our selections in a cute little patch. We love having pumpkins on our front porch and enjoy carving them together. But we decided to forgo apple picking. No one actually enjoys eating apples in our house, and I never end up making an apple pie. A simple one to let go, but it went against everything I knew as a New England mom in the fall.
During the Christmas season, we decided to focus on the unique traditions that make our family happy. For the 7th year in a row, we drove around in our coziest PJs, ate chicken nuggets from Wendy’s, and looked at Christmas lights. Another day, we picked out the most perfectly imperfect Christmas tree from a local farm and followed it up with our favorite Chinese food and a viewing of The Santa Clause movie. But, we chose to skip the visit to see Santa. Our kids always become too nervous to sit on Santa’s lap. Plus, our four-year-old daughter is holding steady on a 6-month streak of refusing to smile in photos anyway. Again, this felt easy to let go of, except for the photo album continuity guilt – there has always been a Santa photo, don’t we need one every year indefinitely? The answer is absolutely not!
For birthdays, we have decided to let go of big gift-giving. Instead, our focus is on small things like pancakes together on the morning of each of our birthdays and streamers decorating the kitchen. Of course, we still give our kiddos some small things to open on their big day. But instead of adding another giant toy to an already overwhelming collection, we highlight special time with family instead. Looking back on my childhood, I don’t remember any specific toy I received, but I remember feeling special on my day and that’s all that matters!
Give It A Try
What can you pare down in your list of family traditions? It’s not always easy to let go of things that have been a part of your lives for years – that’s the whole spirit of tradition! But when you really stop to think about why you want to have these special anchors throughout the year, it becomes easy to see which you can embrace and which you can end (at least for now). So, which traditions mean the most in your family and which can you give yourself permission to let go?
