When my son joined the preschool where I work, one of my biggest fears was that he’d be a biter. In my role, I am the lucky one who gets to interrupt a parent’s day to tell them that their child has bitten or been bitten by another child. This news is often equally distressing for parents on either side of the incident. Fortunately in my experience, most parents understand that this is a fairly typical occurrence among young children.
Parents understandably tend to get more concerned when the same child is bitten more than once or the same child has bitten several times. However, child biting is very common in group care settings among babies, toddlers, and young preschoolers.
Here’s what childcare providers should do when a child bites more than once:
Document every incident and inform both families involved. If skin is broken, parents should be informed right away, so they can decide whether to bring their child to see a doctor.
Try to figure out what is causing the child to bite and if there are any patterns as to when, why, and how the biting is occurring. There are many possibilities, but if a pattern or reason can be identified, the biting is easier to prevent.
Meet with the biter’s family to learn more about the child’s behavior at home and how they handle any biting or other inappropriate behavior. Collaborate on a plan to address the issue, including an agreed-upon adult response when biting occurs so that the biter is getting a clear and consistent message.
“Shadow” the biter as much as possible to prevent further incidents. An ideal scenario would be tasking a teacher with the sole responsibility of “shadowing” the child until the biting has stopped, but this is not always feasible due to staffing and financial challenges that many childcare providers face.
Recommend or provide additional support and resources. Biting is a form of communication, and the biter needs to learn other ways to express themselves. When biting happens frequently and/or the child is no longer a toddler, it can be an indication that the child is having trouble communicating appropriately and/or having difficulty processing sensory input or big emotions. Many biters in these scenarios can benefit from services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, or working with a behavioral specialist.
When children are younger than three, they can be evaluated and served through Early Intervention at no cost (click here to find your local EI program in MA). Parents of children three and older can contact their public elementary school for an evaluation and/or their child’s pediatrician for additional resources. If they qualify, services are provided at no cost.
Explain to the family of the child(ren) being bitten what the provider is doing to prevent further biting incidents. Childcare providers will not share the identity of the child who is biting or personal details about the child. But they should reassure the family that they are addressing the problem.
Childcare providers should NOT:
Terminate the contract of the child who is biting. There are certainly times when the childcare setting is not a good fit for the child, but expelling a child for biting alone without trying the ideas above is usually not appropriate.
Punish the biter or react with strong emotion. While logical consequences can be appropriate, especially for older children who bite, punishing a toddler for biting is not helpful or necessary.
Blame the biter’s parents. The childcare provider may share tips for home and school to help eliminate the biting, but no parent wants their child to be biting. And it’s not their fault.
Do nothing. It is common, but recurrent biting needs to be addressed and taken seriously.
To be clear, the age of the child who is biting is a big factor. A one-and-a-half-year-old biter is a very different scenario and warrants a different response than a four-and-a-half-year-old who is biting classmates.
Luckily, my five-year-old has never bitten. I’m feeling pretty confident that I’ll make it through his last year in preschool without needing to call a parent to tell them that their child was bitten by my child. And dealing with the unnecessary guilt and embarrassment that comes along with being the biter’s parent. My two-year-old starts next fall, so fingers crossed!