As the associate director of a preschool and a Pre-K teacher for several years before that, I have helped many parents make the decision to send their child to kindergarten or have them do another year of preschool. This year, I was on the other end of the conversation with my August-born son.
There are so many factors to consider and each child is unique. But it usually seems like a fairly straightforward decision. I would usually advise them to do another year of preschool if a child made the kindergarten cut-off (5 years old by September 1 at most MA schools) by only a couple weeks or even months and they were not excelling in social/emotional development or academic skills. But it all seemed more complicated when it was my own son, though.
Here are some areas I considered when deciding on kindergarten or another year of preschool:
Self-advocacy: Can my child stand up for himself in various situations? Advocating for oneself is necessary many times in a child’s day. For example, finding a grown-up to ask for help opening his lunch container. Or reacting appropriately when a child takes the ball he was using.
Self-help skills: Can my child put his own shoes on and zip his coat? Can he use the bathroom without assistance?
Social/emotional and executive functioning skills: Can my child regulate his own emotions with minimal support? Is he confident in his abilities? Does he follow directions in a group? Does he know how to enter play and make friends? Can he stay on task and transition to a new activity or does he require an adult for support?
Academics: Does my child know most of the letters? Can he write his name? Does he have an understanding of foundational math skills? Does he show interest in literacy and math games? Can he hold a pencil correctly?
Kindergarten teachers are NOT expecting incoming students to have mastered all of these skills by any means, and of course, adults are there to help when a child can’t open his lunch container, but having a strong foundation in most of these areas will set a child up for success.
Academics is last on this list purposefully. If you ask kindergarten teachers, they will tell you that they strongly prefer that a child enters kindergarten knowing how to follow directions and be a kind friend rather than knowing how to read and solve addition problems. The current academic expectations for kindergarteners are truly more like the expectations were for first graders when I grew up, but academic skills can be learned fairly quickly when a child has these other skills in place and is developmentally ready.
Ultimately, we decided to have my son do another year in preschool. It solidified my thoughts that he would benefit from another year after a conference with his preschool teachers. They said he possesses many of the skills listed but is still working on independence and confidence. He is also struggling to learn letters and letter sounds. I want to give him as much time as possible to build his confidence and interest if literacy continues to be an area of difficulty.
During my husband’s and my decision-making process, I heard so many people say that they know of people who regret sending their child to kindergarten on the younger side, but no one seems to regret waiting a year. That advice was a big factor in our decision. If the kindergarten allows it, there are rarely any disadvantages to doing another year of preschool for a child who is close to the cutoff date and isn’t thriving across all domains. It just took a while for me to follow my own advice.
As my husband and I put our crying and flailing son in the car on one of the first days of preschool this year, my husband looked at me and said, “Can you imagine if we were putting him on a school bus?” We already know we made a good decision by doing another year of preschool.
We are entering the school-years with my first and it’s a whole new world. So many hard decisions! Thank you for sharing your experience and advice.