I don’t know about you, but I was always a bit bummed when I would get the iPhone notification on Sunday night alerting me to my average daily screen time throughout the week. On most days, I spent 2-3 hours on my phone. I rationalized that it was mostly podcasts, but I knew that I scrolled too much also. Ten minutes here, twenty minutes there, the occasional 1-hour long deep dive into a comment section on Instagram. And even if I felt like I learned something new, it never seemed to leave me feeling very good.
Of course, I also used my phone regularly to check and reply to emails, look up the weather, directions, or just random information, and obviously, I would pull out my phone whenever the urge struck to take photos and videos of my kids! So my screen time wasn’t all mindless scrolling and a lot of the time it felt productive and useful, but I really wanted to try to use my phone less during “downtimes” and to model better habits for my kids.
I think most people can agree that we humans are a little powerless to the trickery and algorithms of social media platforms, and in the past I have tried little strategies like turning off notifications, setting time limits, removing apps, using a grayscale filter, and keeping my phone physically out of easy reach. All of these little hacks were helpful and I am sure there are many creative ways that people try to curb their screen time (please share in the comments about any that have worked for you). However, I kept wondering what it would be like to not have a smartphone at all, so I decided to try a smartphone detox experiment. I wondered how would it affect my mood, my life, and my relationship.
Here is how I did this smartphone detox, and why I am still currently doing it 120 days later:
Phone Alternatives
First, I explored my options. I was tempted to buy a smartphone look-a-like marketed as an internet-and-app-free alternative for kids and teens, such as a Gabb phone or Wisephone. But to save money, I decided to keep it simple and switch to an old-school flip phone from my current wireless carrier. Technically, the phone has 5G internet access, but it’s on a less than 2-inch web browser and the only typing is T9, so I have never bothered to use the internet with it. There are tools like a calculator and an alarm clock, but no apps, no games, and no Bluetooth. And the camera is so grainy it might as well not exist. Just strictly phone calls and painfully slow T9 texting!
Using My Old Phone as a Tablet
At first, I thought I might purchase a tablet as a place to store and access the apps that I did need, like for communicating with my kid’s school, paying bills, or scanning documents. But, it turns out that because I already owned my smartphone, I was able to keep it when I made the switch. I learned that although it was no longer connected to a data plan, my smartphone would essentially be a small tablet that would keep me logged in to all my apps and would only be accessible when it was connected to Wi-Fi.
This seemed like a great compromise. I would carry the flip phone with me to be available for anything urgent while I am with my kids or out during the day, but I could still use the apps on my “tablet” as needed for those other necessary tasks, usually at night after the kids went to bed.
Decreased Screen Time
With a few minor workarounds, this dual system has worked out better than I could have imagined for reducing unproductive screen time over the past 4 months. My average daily screen time on my smartphone immediately dropped down to 0 minutes in the first few weeks. It tends to range between 15-30 minutes per day. This means that I have gained back an average of 2-3 hours a day, 14-21 hours a week, and 60-90 hours a month. Double those numbers if you spend on average 4-6 hours a day on your device, like the average American adult.
Reintroducing Social Media & Apps
It turns out that not having my smartphone with me all day long means that I can’t automatically check social media or my email and other messaging apps just because I have a spare minute. And, a little surprisingly, I don’t miss it much. That urge to just look at my phone when my brain is unoccupied for a split second has dissipated. I have even worked a healthier amount of social media back into my life, making a few posts each week, responding to messages, and even selling used clothing through social media apps again. But now it feels more like a tool, and less like a scrolling rabbit hole.
What I Have Learned
Other than decreasing my overall stress, my smartphone detox has helped increase my creativity by freeing up brain space to come up with interesting solutions to problems. I am also more present with my work and my parenting and less likely to be triggered by my kids. I use my computer more often for productive work, like responding to emails, and I am intentional about consuming the news. By choosing to open and read the news through email subscriptions I feel less bombarded with the news that my psyche is just not prepared for. But I still don’t carry my laptop around with me all day, so it’s a lot easier to get some space away from screens.
Without a GPS in my pocket, I now have to look up directions before leaving my house. If I forget to do that and get really lost, I still have my flip phone to call someone for help. I also started listening to the radio while driving or doing housework. Surprisingly, I am finding that I am enjoying the silence more and don’t feel so compelled to fill it. Occasionally, I still use my smartphone at home to take photos of my kids. But I have cut way back on this reflexive habit. When we are out, I can usually ask someone else to capture an extra special moment and send it to me.
My Relationships Have Changed
And not just with my kids, but with my friends and family. It was a definite adjustment to not be able to text someone back quickly or to fully participate in traditional group chats. Although I have found a variety of messaging apps like WhatsApp, GroupMe, Discord, Messenger, and Telegram. They are easy and useful alternatives to the iPhone group chat. It’s not perfect, but it works. It makes texting feel less invasive and urgent. I will wait until the end of the day to check my messages and respond. My anxiety about making phone calls is also decreasing. We have started making it a point to invite friends and family to in-person events and outings as often as possible. This makes our relationships not so text-based anymore.
There is definitely a learning curve whenever you are changing habits. At first, this was initially a short experiment that has now morphed into a new lifestyle. Partly because I am too lazy to go to the store and switch back, but mostly because I’ve come to like it. And it turns out that pulling out a flip phone in public is a great conversation starter!
