Every day can be such a blur. There are times I get to the end of the day and I’m not sure if I have even drunk a whole glass of water. Or pet our dogs. Or switched the damp laundry to the dryer. At the end of the day, I do know that I have spent lots of time and energy on my children—they make sure of that! But, even still, I rarely get to spend quality, focused time with them one at a time. Enter the idea of one-on-one dates.
The Idea Was Born
Early on in parenting, my husband and I noticed that our kids really thrived with one-on-one attention. With even just 10 or 20 minutes of focused attention, you could see the joy and connection on their faces. They felt seen and loved. It wasn’t anything fancy that caught our eye. We noticed it with simple things like my husband taking our son outside for a quick bike ride while I let our daughter play just a little longer than usual in the tub. To our surprise, these little pockets of time were energizing for us, too. Parenting can be tiring. But in those small moments, our spirits were buoyed by seeing those extra smiles and hearing those extra giggles from our kids. Things that may have otherwise been missed among the chaos of regular life.
Expanding The Idea, But Keeping It Simple
This kind of special time became a priority in our family when we saw how positive it was for everyone. We decided to schedule one-on-one dates between ourselves and our kids.
When we first thought of the idea, we were thinking BIG. We brainstormed things like a trip to Great Wolf Lodge, a night away somewhere fun, or a special show like Disney On Ice. We quickly realized that we were overthinking it. These dates didn’t need to be huge, big productions. By keeping things uncomplicated (and budget-friendly!), it would be easier to follow through on this priority, time and time again. A muffin and conversation at a favorite bakery. A walk to the local train tracks to see cargo trains go by. A visit to the nearby grocery store that has cute, little kid-sized carts. That was all it took. The kids didn’t care so much about what we did, but rather that they were doing it with us.
So, that is what we have done. Small, local adventures that are low-cost but high-impact. We aim to have both sets of one-on-one dates happen on the same day and around the same time. I will take our son while my husband takes our daughter (or vice versa, as we switch which parent goes with which child each time). The house is filled with the feeling of anticipation before we all go our separate ways for a while, knowing that we will all meet back home again soon.
Coming Back Together
We have been doing this for a while now, and ironically, every time we have done one-on-one dates, our kids get so eager to return home to their sibling. Yes, the very same siblings who had just been battling hours before about who got more blueberries on their breakfast plate. Those same siblings anxiously await being able to share their stories of the day. They tell each other about their adventures with promises of going back to the same places again soon – but together.
How does your family make space for one-on-one time with each other?
