For some people, surprises can be energizing, thrilling, and exciting. For others, including my own kids, surprises can be a bit overwhelming. The discomfort of the unexpected and unknown clashes with the socially expected levels of excitement. After navigating this for some years now, we have come up with a few strategies to keep fun surprises, well, fun!
Preview and Prepare
Recently, we had a family experience of Disney on Ice. While some families might keep this a fun surprise until the day of, we talked about it for weeks. Not only do we get to build the excitement up for everyone, but we are ensuring a smoother and happier experience for everyone involved. Knowing what to expect is huge regarding our kids’ enjoyment of the day. Where are we going to the show? How long will it take to get there? What will our seats be like? Will it be loud or bright? Will there be potties or snacks? In addition to answering all of these questions, we have also watched videos of past performances. Our kids know what songs they may hear, and what the people on the ice will look like in costume, and they are ready!
Getting Over Our Own Pauses
One of the hardest things was getting used to kids who don’t jump up and down and yell “thank you” over and over upon receiving a big surprise gift. They are more likely to say a kind, but quiet thank you and then process throughout the day. Their expressions of their true gratitude and excitement end up coming out during family dinner time or while relaxing at bedtime.
Get Others On Board
Once we understood our kids, we made sure to share the inside scoop with close friends and family. Getting everyone in our kids’ circle on the same page that they are not the type to love a big, loud, TA-DA type of event or gift was really helpful. Otherwise, it can feel almost embarrassing when others do something special for your kid and they simply curl up as close to mom or dad as they can instead of embracing the excitement. But when everyone knows that just isn’t a part of your kiddo’s DNA, it’s less of a big deal!
Things Won’t Always Go According To Plan
Perhaps the most important thing we highlight with our kids is that so much of life is not in our control. Mom and Dad can’t always ensure that nothing too overwhelming comes their way. We find small ways to practice dealing with things that don’t go our way or things that are more surprising than expected. It gives us a great chance to talk through strategies to keep things fun and flexible.
While our job as parents isn’t to iron out every possible wrinkle in our kids’ experiences, it does make a big impact in our family when we can prepare our kids for surprises. What works for your family?
What a wonderful article. I had one child that was this way and I could have really used the information in Maggie’s article. Bravo!