To some, the month of October may just be another month of crisp air, falling leaves, apple picking, and PSLs. To others, it is a time to honor and remember the tiny footprints left on our hearts. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The 15th of October is observed annually as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The 15th of October is observed annually as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
The point of this month is to raise awareness of the losses no matter how they happened. It is a time to bring light to all who have endured the pain both physically and emotionally. To show that joy and grief can coexist in the months that follow the tragic loss. It is a time to remember what could have been and a moment of celebration for the life that was lost too soon.
I never thought we would reach this milestone, but we lost our first baby 10 years ago this month. It was hard enough going through infertility and then to add a miscarriage. I felt so alone because I didn’t know anyone who had a miscarriage, stillbirth, or lost an infant. Never mind someone who talked about it openly.
I know some of you can relate to feelings of failure as if I did something wrong. I truly felt like no one understood my pain. We didn’t want to share what had happened with anyone, so I dealt with it isolated and in a dark space. In my mind, it was my fault our baby wasn’t here anymore. I carried that guilt for a very long time.
It took many years for me to realize that I didn’t cause it to happen, that life is fragile, and healing is possible. Grief has a way of sneaking up on all of us and it can feel just as new and raw even decades later. I share my journey because I believe our stories can help others and that our messes can be our message.
My hope for you is that this month you find a way to celebrate and honor those tiny footprints left on your hearts. Whether it is going out to dinner with a spouse or participating in the International Wave of Light.
May it be whatever it is that brings you joy and peace.
Remember no matter where you are on this journey, you are not alone. And understand that it is okay to smile and cry simultaneously, as you process the emotions, whether it was yesterday, or decades ago.
With that, I will end with this beautiful quote to honor those babies who were too good for this world.
“There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.” – Unknown
