Experiencing My Last Firsts


This year I will celebrate being a mom for one whole decade, and as I wrote that tears streamed down my face. Where has the time gone? As my last baby grows from being a toddler into the preschool stage, I was quickly reminded that I was experiencing my last firsts and gone are the days of…

Breastfeeding or bottles or both
Sleepless nights
Infant car seats
Lost binkies
Gates to hop over
Needing midnight snuggles
Kisses on every boo-boo (needing Mama right away)
Car naps
Pushing a stroller
Tied to a breast pump
Mispronouncing the simplest of words
Baby toys, bouncers, baby blankets

No one prepared me for how sad it would be to pack up and donate all the baby stuff. To experience the last firsts with my youngest. I am excited for the next chapter of raising my babies, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that I will miss every single moment. From pregnancy, breastfeeding, newborn snuggles, my babies learning to walk and talk, even those days when it felt so hard.

Every stage of motherhood has its hard parts, but nothing prepares you for how quickly those first few years go by – even when sleep is non-existent.

I wish I could relive it all again, and yes, I would do another sleepless night. Struggle to find the right position to nurse my baby or pump in the car on the way to work. To smell my baby’s head as they snore away on my chest. But those days are gone, I am experiencing my last firsts, this chapter of motherhood is coming to a close, and these moments will soon become memories.

I am grateful for all the moments I didn’t miss over the years. I know there will be more grieving in the future as my children grow and go through new stages, but I will quickly remind myself that now the days are gone of that season – a new season with new moments is ahead.


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