Tips for the Holidays With a Sensitive Eater

Holidays are already a stressful time of year, and adding a sensitive eater to the mix can put anyone over the edge. A year ago, my middle child was diagnosed with a type of sensory processing disorder related to food. Before this, holidays were something I spent so much mind space worrying about. Now, it is less stressful because I have so many tools in my arsenal and am more confident advocating for my son.

Our Journey with a Sensitive Eater

For those of you scratching your head and saying ‘What exactly is this?’ Worry not, I am going to color it a little bit more for you and share our journey. I will never take for granted my mom gut and how it was so right here, even with many of the friends I had at the time telling me differently. My middle son was a “challenging” eater starting around age two. The list of “safe” foods was getting smaller week after week.

The funny thing here is that my son was on his growth curve thank you milk and yogurt but if you put any sort of meat in front of him other than breakfast meats, he would refuse without even looking twice at them. Our pediatrician told us to keep an eye on it, that it could just be a phase of picky eating, and to call if we saw things getting any worse. 

Fast forward six months later. I could count on one hand how many foods my son would eat. It was so specific that if I didn’t serve mini muffins from Costco, they were refused. Feeding was such a stressful time for both of us because I was trying so desperately to get my son to eat and my son was trying to communicate that the foods I was serving didn’t feel safe. I look back at this time and feel for both of us, we didn’t understand why the other was doing what they were.

Before I could call the pediatrician to get an appointment, my daily scroll of Instagram while feeding my newborn led me to a webinar. It was on the topic of picky eating put on by First Connections. This is a local nonprofit that runs programs and playgroups for young families. I quickly emailed to RSVP and logged in to see what this OT had to say. Turns out my son checked all the boxes concerning eating. This led me to reach out to follow up with my pediatrician. Unfortunately, there was a year-plus wait at Boston Children’s. So, I decided to ask for a referral to the OT on that webinar. They got us an evaluation appointment within a couple of months.

We haven’t looked back since. Our OT has been a wonderful asset in my son’s journey. We are in a much better place with food and feeding. Especially when it comes to holidays or going to friend’s houses for barbeques or parties. Our food list isn’t terribly expansive, but my son will touch and interact with more foods than when we started this journey. 

So if your child is like mine, here are some things that we have done to make our holidays with a sensitive eater a little less painless:

Pack a lunchbox.

Pack the safe foods that your child will eat in case there are no safe foods where you are going. These can go on a plate if the host has the table laid out. Or if you don’t want your day-to-day lunchbox out on the festive table. Unless your child only eats food a certain way, then that lunchbox stays on the table. My son thankfully will eat off of anything as long as he has safe foods in front of him. 

Ask the guests (friends/family) not to comment on the child’s eating.

Even children overhearing adults talking about them being “picky” or “not eating much” can have consequences. We’ve felt these where my child refused to eat even his safe foods for days and weeks after overhearing it, a feeding battle I could do without. I find it’s a hard topic especially for older family and friends to understand who don’t have experience with it. This is because it wasn’t talked about when they were growing up or raising their children. I have a few bullets that I share with those in attendance so hopefully, it keeps the chatter to a minimum. We have adopted the phrase when we don’t like the look or taste of something that it is a not-for-me food. 

Host in your own space.

We don’t usually go anywhere for holidays anymore. I often host to make it easier to have our three children all home/on schedule/in their safe space. I also love to host so this isn’t burdensome to me. If it is to you but you like this idea, you can assign jobs to all your guests to share the load. Added bonus, you are in control of the menu. You can accommodate all of the eating habits of your whole family. 

If we aren’t home, we have a sheet that has yes foods on it for the host. It is specific with the brand or store we purchase it at, no foods, and try foods. We make sure that there is a tool to touch the food with if my child doesn’t feel safe interacting with that food with his hands or mouth. 

Follow your child’s lead.

Now, my sensitive eater surprises us with foods he is interested in or will handle. I hold in the excitement when I see him holding an undesirable food, even if he’s using it to play. Sometimes going to a different house or place can be just enough change they need to be adventurous. In case touching food is too much, we make sure we are equipped with tools that make them feel comfortable interacting with new foods. I have a go bag that I take with me in case he is interested in a food but feels unsure about touching it with his hands. The tools that work well for us are tongs, seafood forks, cocktail spoons, kid-safe knives, and butter spreaders. 

Don’t stress.

Do what is best for you and your family. This is probably the most important and difficult tip. Even on my best days, I can still feel frustrated when faced with judgmental looks or comments. 

When my child was first diagnosed, I went on a mission to educate our family and friends. Not realizing that I didn’t have to break it down in the way I was. It could have been because I had some very invalidating conversations prior that I felt the need to say “See, I wasn’t overreacting and now listen to everything about this condition.” Now I relax, not pressure myself or my son, and we enjoy the holiday. If he spends the day eating crackers and green grapes, so be it. I hope if you have a sensitive eater in your house that this helps you to enjoy your holidays too!