We’ve all been there…scheduled a play date at the playground to catch up with another mom while the kids play. But what inevitably happens is you say hi and spend the next hour following your own child around. Quality time and social connection are hard to create when your attention is divided. A playdate at someone’s house contains the chaos and lends itself better to conversation and connection. But you’re still refereeing fights over toys, keeping someone from climbing things, and making sure your kiddo gets it to the potty in a new space. Spending time with your mom friends without kids is wonderful for your mental health and can allow you to return to your kids feeling refreshed, like the best version of yourself, ready to tackle the challenges of motherhood.
I am incredibly grateful to have bonded with some other moms.
We have a monthly, kid-free hangout, and these evenings recharge my social battery and help me reconnect with myself as a person, who often takes a backseat to me as a mom these days. Motherhood can be very isolating and lonely. It’s common for moms to not feel like themselves anymore. Your identity as a mother becomes all-consuming, and you lose that connection to who you are as a person. All your time and attention are devoted to your tiny humans. It’s very easy to lose yourself in the day-to-day of meeting their needs. My mom-friends completely understand what I’m going through! They’re in the trenches of motherhood with me and going through the same things. It’s incredibly validating to hear that someone else is struggling with something similar to what you are. It’s encouraging to hear from another mom who’s overcome what’s challenging you at that time.
Socializing might not seem like self-care, but feeling a connection to the world around you is an important part of your well-being.
Social interaction and isolation have been studied in seniors. These studies have shown that finding a connection gives them a sense of purpose and belonging. While isolation has been shown to negatively affect their quality of life. It’s easy to see how the same can be true for any age group. And for moms, especially stay-at-home moms, the lack of social interaction can be detrimental to their mental health. For someone struggling with postpartum anxiety or depression, having someone to talk to about what they’re going through can make a huge difference. It may help you to realize that what you’re experiencing is not normal and help you take the next step in seeking support from a professional.
The term “it takes a village” comes from a time when raising children was much more of a community effort. Finding your village of support for those early years can make a huge difference in a challenging time. This is your sign to start comparing calendars with your mama besties and get some time blocked off. Let your partner know that they’ll be doing bedtime solo that evening. Then book a reservation for some Galentine’s Day girl time!
