Family planning plays an important part in preparing for our futures. Most of the time we all have a number in mind as to how many children we see for ourselves. Some don’t want any while others want many. No matter what our families look like, the size of them is something we deserve to control. So, when obstacles get in the way of creating the future we desire, it can be a hard pill to swallow.
We try every day to achieve our goals to move forward and succeed. Unfortunately, the world is filled with trials that push us to our limits. These tests of strength can sometimes force us to rethink our family size situations and alter our plans in life. That can mean having to change courses when creating the family you desire.
Infertility
Many obstacles can get in the way when it comes to trying to make a baby. The most challenging one has to be infertility. According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, 9% of men and 11% of women experience fertility problems. Thankfully, there are options available for help such as IUI, IVF, and surrogacy. However, these avenues can come with some downfalls. These methods can get very expensive if insurance doesn’t cover them. It can be trying on a woman’s mental and physical well-being. Also, it’s not a guarantee.
Trauma from Pregnancy
If you do get pregnant, some women have challenging pregnancies. There are times when women can develop certain complications that feel unbearable. Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Placenta Previa, Preeclampsia, Gestational Diabetes, and stillbirth are just a few things that only pregnant women experience and are not to be taken lightly. Not every pregnancy is easy, some can be traumatic. Sadly, there are several other things you can experience that can create trauma. There are just too many to list. How a pregnancy is experienced by the mother and how it ends can alter how someone proceeds with their future family planning decisions.
Maternal Mental Health
Having a baby really does a number on your body. With your hormones all out of sorts, maternal mental health has the potential to take hold. This is no fault to any mother! Sometimes, it just happens. It’s also more common than we all think. For some women, it can get so severe that it becomes dangerous. Some signs and symptoms we should be aware of are mood swings, unwanted thoughts, fatigue, crying, irritability, loss of appetite, and panic attacks.
Health Conditions/Disabilities
When the health of yourself or your child comes with trials and tribulations, it can cause drastic changes in family size. Some women have conditions that make pregnancy a risk to their lives. Some children are born with disabilities that require all of our time, attention, and resources. Adding another child to the family isn’t always in the best interest of all people involved in this particular situation. Since you’re already being spread so thin, it would be extremely challenging and unfair to try to juggle a second child. Also, having one child with medical issues may raise your chances of having another.
Finances
Let’s be honest having a child is not cheap. We try to prepare our bank accounts the best we can for this expense of a lifetime. However, things can come up that we may not be prepared for. Your child may require a special diet. Maybe you or your spouse lose your job. Perhaps the car is on its last leg, and you need to replace it. It shouldn’t cost this much money to live but unfortunately, it does. Once we figure out our personal financial situations, adjustments might have to be made. That could mean having fewer children than planned.
When you desire to expand your family, but something stops that from happening, it may feel like a punch directly in the gut. Whatever the reason is, it’s tough when your head and your heart don’t match your family size. Sometimes we don’t have a choice, and sometimes have to choose between doing what is right over doing what we desire. Just know that it’s ok to be sad, disappointed, or even angry at the situation.
Lastly, it’s a true sign of strength to ask for the help you need. Once you are ready, I encourage you all to find a way to tolerate the new reality you find yourselves in. Adopting a fur baby is a great way to heal the hole you may feel in your heart. Seeking out professional help from a therapist is another way to aid in your grief process. Just please remember, that you’re not alone in this.
