As moms, we juggle countless roles—caregivers, partners, friends, professionals, community members, and often the CEOs of our households. On any given day, we have so many things to do. Given that, it makes sense that taking care of ourselves is often the first thing to slip when things get extra busy.
Trust me – I get it. I am a busy mom of two young kids, I work (more than) full-time, and for the past two years, I have been navigating full-time graduate school and the process of becoming a therapist. My life is logistically complex, which means that I need to make every minute count. What is also true is that taking care of myself is more important than ever. In fact, it is an ethical imperative for therapists, so I have become even better at it. What follows are some ideas for how you can do so too, no matter what your day-to-day life looks like.
The Invisible Load of Motherhood
Have you heard the term mental load? As the concept has gained traction in the last few years, it feels more important to consider than ever (thank you, Fair Play!). We are often responsible for the unseen aspects of family life – the planning, organizing, and anticipation of needs. We manage relationships, inside and outside of the family. We are in charge of remembering to do things. It is the mental juggling act of remembering doctor’s appointments, birthday party RSVPs, what’s in the fridge, and whether everyone’s socks still fit. Even if you are not doing everything yourself, this burden that moms often hold can be exhausting. Here are small ways to lighten the load:
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Do a weekly brain dump: Take 10 minutes to jot down everything swirling in your mind. Use a notebook or notes app to clear mental space. Then, address things during your weekly planning sessions.
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Share the mental load: Delegate tasks to your partner or kids and let them handle it, even if it’s not exactly how you’d do it.
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Lean on your mom friends – Connect in person with other moms to laugh, share tips, and feel less alone. Community makes a big difference.
Quick Wins When Time Is Limited
Taking care of your mental health doesn’t have to mean carving out hours you don’t have – though when we are intentional, we always have more time than we think we do. Small shifts can make a huge difference. Here are a few simple ways to protect your sanity, even on your busiest days:
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Find micro-moments of calm: Take a few deep breaths before walking into the house, savor your coffee without distractions, or try a 5-minute guided meditation (have you tried Insight Timer? I swear by it!).
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Say “no” more often: If it’s not a true yes, let it be a no. Your time and energy are limited—spend them on what matters most.
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Make space for little joys: Dance in the kitchen (follow my fellow contributor Ari for inspiration), read a fun book instead of scrolling (we offer monthly ideas on CMM social!), or go for a walk solo. Tiny pleasures can recharge you more than you think.
Encouragement and Reframing
It’s easy to feel guilty for putting yourself first, but here’s the truth: taking care of your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s essential. There is absolutely nothing to be guilty of. When you’re running on empty, everyone feels it. Think of it this way: prioritizing your well-being is taking care of your family. Because a healthier, calmer you makes the whole house run smoother. And remember, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Tiny changes add up over time. Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing so much already, and you deserve to feel good, too.
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Pick one small thing this week: Just for you, whether that’s a bubble bath, journaling, or calling a friend.
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Set one healthy boundary: Like saying no to an extra commitment or carving out 15 minutes alone after the kids go to bed.
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Share how you’re feeling: Sometimes just saying it out loud lightens the weight—with someone you trust. Join a community group, find the right therapist, or lean on a friend.
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