The transition into preschool from staying at home can be a tricky leap for some little ones to take. They go from the comfort of flexible daily routines with family or caretakers into a faster-paced environment, away from home and full of new routines and expectations. It can be a lot to handle! Here are some tips from a mom and preschool teacher on how to make a smooth transition for your little one into preschool.
Practice the Morning Routine Ahead
Going from the amorphous flexibility of summer to the rush of a school week can be a whiplash-inducing pivot. Ease into this by doing practice runs of school morning routines for a Monday-Friday one week ahead of the big first day. This way, when the time comes, the rush of the morning won’t take them by surprise, making for a smoother transition.
Use Visual Aids
Three-year-olds (and all young children) thrive on routine and predictability. A lot of the fear around going to school stems from their inability to predict what comes next, or even to understand the concept of time. Help them out by making and frequently referring to visual aids. Some helpful ideas are:
- Map out the steps of the morning get-ready routine. I like to do this using a poster board and small clip art of each step. Refer back to it as you move them along through the plan, making sure to celebrate their progress.
- Again, using poster board and clip art, make a Velcro chart of all the moving pieces that make up a day. (Think: morning home routine, go to school, eat lunch at school, nap at school, get picked up, after school activities, doctor’s appointments, dinner, etc.) Set it up fresh each day and go over it with your child. The point here is to help them break their day into digestible chunks. It will also help illustrate to them that they will be with you both before and after school and that school is not a forever-long part of the day.
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Mark a calendar with small photos or stickers and label each day as a “school day” or a “family day.” This way, they can be aware of which days they will be out and which days they will be with you. For this, I like to use a magnetic days of the week calendar with “family day” and “school day” magnets that I place on the corresponding days. Each day, we count to see how many more school days we have.
Read Books that Preview What’s Coming
Books provide a great way for them to connect and name feelings, and also get an idea of what to expect. Some of our favorite books are:
- Pete the Cat Rocking in My School Shoes
- The Night Before Preschool
- Daniel Tiger Goes to School
- The Pigeon Has to Go to School
- The Kissing Hand (this one offers a great routine to try with your own kiddo to help them cope with missing home)
Come up with a Goodbye Routine And Stick to It!
The moment of separation is always tricky. The kids may put on the brakes, start crying, or cling to you. To help with this, come up with a goodbye routine that you will do at drop-off and practice it. Pick a number of hugs and kisses. Give each other a well wish for the day. Come up with a secret handshake. Whatever you decide, practice it ahead of time and always wrap up by saying, “Have a great day! I love you! I’ll see you at the end of the day.”
>Have them totally ready to implement this activity so that it’s routine by the time you go to do the first drop off.
When it is time to drop off, rip off the Band-Aid!
I know it is so hard to walk away from your preschooler. They suddenly look so tiny, and the thought of leaving them at school pulls on your heart! It is made immensely harder if they are emotional or resisting leaving. But as a preschool teacher, I can unequivocally tell you that when it comes to saying goodbye at school, the quicker the better.
Bring them to the door, do your goodbye routine, connect them with the adult they’re staying with, and walk away swiftly. Even if they are crying. Even if they shout your name. I promise you that within minutes, they will calm down and settle in. Having done this with 94 students myself, I can tell you that the only time the crying persists is when the parent lingers or returns to check on them. The anticipation over the idea of separating is always harder than the act of separating. Help them acclimate quickly by making the goodbye predictable, short, and sweet.
And then if you’re like me and have your own big feelings about it, maybe plan a coffee date with your partner or some other mom friends to have some shoulders to blubber on. It can be emotional for parents, too!
Don’t Panic If They Resist on the Following Monday Morning
A lot of times, children settle into the first few days of school just fine and then hit a wall where they resist coming. You might hear things like “I hate school!” or “I don’t want to go there anymore!” This often happens after the first weekend away. In other cases, some children start to feel this about 2-3 weeks into the year. What happens here is that once they’ve had a taste of the longer days at home, going back to being away for the day doesn’t sound appealing.
But take heart! I promise they’ll get back into the routine.
From my experience, I can tell you that more frequently than not, it is a secret to the teacher that the children are saying these things at home until a parent clues them in. Once the kids come in, they are happy and social and ready to go.
Unless there are social conflicts or other anxieties at play, when most small kids say that they hate school and do not want to go, what they really mean is that they are dreading the transition. This is where the goodbye routine comes in handy. Consider adding an extra flair (like bonus kisses or a high five ) to your farewell or giving them something like a small bracelet or a temporary tattoo of a heart to help remember you by all day. Once you get them through the door, they’ll be back to having a good day in no time.
Best Wishes!
Sending the kiddos off to preschool is a big move full of exciting beginnings that lead to a year of watching your child grow exponentially. Take these above steps to help yourself have an easy start. I wish you a great school year and send hugs to you and your little ones for the parts of the transition that feel hard!
