Were you ever one of those kids who grew up saying to yourself, “I will NEVER turn into my parents?” Thinking that it would be the end of the world if you turned out like your mom or your dad. I sure was. The thought of being anything like either one of them was out of the question. Why be anybody other than my unique self?
For some reason, we never see our parents as people when we’re kids. Just creatures from another planet here only to serve our every want and need. It’s not until we’re older and start seeing them as actual human beings that we understand they aren’t so bad. That having some of their traits might actually be a good thing.
My relationship with my mother has been a bit of a rollercoaster. I understand the dynamic between mothers and daughters can be tough, but this was different. I wasn’t the easiest child with all of my health issues, my rebellious nature, and my spicy attitude. She did the best she knew how. There were many years we struggled to understand one another—making it hard to connect. Although we have had our differences, we’ve both worked on our bond over the years, and we are in a much better place now. Even though we were doing well, we still butt heads off and on sometimes. So, I asked myself, why is that? Well both of us are strong-willed women, so I guess it’s inevitable that it will happen from time to time.
That’s when it hit me. The reason we butt heads is because we’re both strong-willed women. I am just like her! I am my mother’s daughter. Why had it taken me so long to come to this realization? It was so simple and right in front of my face all these years. Once the dominoes fell, I thought of all the other ways I’m similar to her. We’re both independent, outspoken, fighters, brave, and stand up for what’s right. All amazing qualities to have but, realistically, have the potential to argue if they don’t agree.
When you have two personalities that are so similar, it would only make sense that they would clash every once in a while. This realization has helped me understand my relationship with my mother in a way I never thought possible. It’s given me a better understanding not only of myself but of who my mother is. This epiphany led me to think of all the other gifts she’s given me just by being herself. My love of music, gardening, road trips, live shows, and the ability to walk up to people I don’t know and start a conversation. All these things I got from her.
When I became pregnant, it was exciting and terrifying to think of the personality traits my son would one day inherit from me. Would they be the good ones or the bad ones? Only time will tell, but it wouldn’t matter anyway; I’d love him no matter what. Now watching him develop into his own individual self all while getting glimpses of myself along the way is both rewarding and karmic retaliation.
There are dozens of things we all wish we could go back in time and tell our younger selves. We were all wrong about so many things. Not wanting to be like my mom is one lesson I wish I didn’t have to say better late than never. I consider myself lucky to be a fraction of the woman she is and to have her tenacity for life. She’s the strongest person I know, and I’m proud to be my mother’s daughter.
