I can’t even count how many times I’ve been asked this summer “what camps are your kids doing?”, to which I responded “none.” They are spending the summer at ‘Camp Mom’ or ‘Grandparent Camp’. My kids are blessed to have grandparents who watch them two days a week over the summer. I know that is not the case for all and I am very grateful to have that as a childcare option. The other three days of the traditional work week, I am home with my kids. But every summer, I seem to feel some sort of guilt for not sending them to camp.
Reasons Behind My Choice
Thoughts wander into my head: Would they have more fun at camp vs with me? Will we even have anyone to hang out with since most kids are at camp? Should I just send them to camp even when I don’t need to? Are all these other kids getting “ahead” because they are doing sports camps in the summer? Am I withholding cool experiences by not enrolling my kids in surf or music camp? Will they not be well-rounded because of it? Despite the second-guessing, I always come to the same conclusion: I want to spend the summer with my kids. I want my children to spend the summer with their siblings. I want to soak up beach days and be spontaneous.
When looking around and feeling like most kids are in camp, I wonder, have we gotten to the point in our society where it is so taboo and not socially acceptable to spend the summer with our own kids? Do most parents feel that kids need constant, structured, planned days?
Now, I understand that most families are likely using camp out of necessity, as both parents are working, and I totally get that. However, I also know several families who send their children to camp when a parent is home, not working, and fully capable of spending the day with them. In many of these families, a parent might work for the school system and have the summer off. I wonder if after working with kids all year, these parents want a break and thus send their child to camp. Other families have a stay-at-home parent structure and still send their child to camp. Maybe this is to keep some type of routine for a child that thrives on structure, or it could be because the child has a special interest in an activity that there is a special camp for.
Town Organized Care Options
In addition to traditional “camps”, many towns offer summer care through the school system. This is more of a full day childcare option vs. a specific themed camp that runs for 3-5 hours. Some towns offer full time summer care from 7 AM to 6 PM. This is obviously wonderful for families with two working parents and I am so glad this option is available for them! However, I also know many people using school summer care when they don’t necessarily need to. I know women who are a stay-at-home parent and send their child to summer care.
I also have seen parents who were unfortunately laid off from their job, but instead of taking that time for family bonding, they sent their children to full day summer childcare. Now there could be many reasons for this. Maybe the child was asking to go and didn’t want to stay home with the parent. Or perhaps the parent felt it would be easier to send the child to summer care rather than come up with daily activities to keep them busy. To each their own, we are all entitled to raise our families how we want to, just as I do for mine.
But I can’t help but wonder, are we taking advantage of the plentiful childcare options available? Have we gotten a little too comfortable relying on outside care, even when we don’t need to? Is the broad availability of summer care causing families to spend less time together? Is it even healthy for development for a child to spend nearly 12 months a year, 5 days a week, in the same building?
Is Camp Just Expected?
Are modern day children too difficult to be around full time? Have families decided that sending kids to camp (when they have a parent at home who isn’t working) is best for the mental health of the stay-at-home parent? Are today’s generation of kids too loud, too whiney, too much? Have we created a culture where it is the standard to hire year-round care, even when not necessary? And of course, there is a financial piece to this. Camps and summer care are not free and can be quite costly, so those that are utilizing these options while also not working are in a privileged place to be able to do so.
Believe me, there are times when I am having a hard parenting day and I think to myself, should I just send them to camp? Should I spend the extra money to give myself some time to rest? I think of all the things I could do with just ONE day alone: gym, a long walk, beach, shopping, nails, quiet meal out, bingeing a favorite show, or re-organizing my home. But instead, I’ve chosen to weather tantrums, pack up endless snacks, toys, clothes, and water and carry so much stuff to the beach that I look like I’m going on vacation.
Opportunity for Family Bonding
Of course a solo beach trip is easier than taking the kids; obviously being home alone is quieter and more productive than having my kids around. BUT I continue to remind myself that I chose to have these kids. I chose the path of motherhood and although difficult, it is wildly rewarding. The closeness I feel to my children is greater than I ever could have imagined. Our bond is strong. And the years are going by fast…so even on the tough days when I am melting on the playground, when I can start to feel jealous or resentful of the “summer camp families”, I ground myself and remember our family values…and grab a second cup of coffee!
