How to Practice Everyday Mindfulness as a Parent

As most parents can attest, parenting is a massive mental, emotional, and physical undertaking. It’s all we can do sometimes not to buckle under the weight of our responsibilities. At the same time, it can be very hard to find time in our everyday lives to take space and recharge ourselves. As an occupational therapy graduate student and pregnant mom of two, incorporating short periods of mindfulness during my day has been a game-changer for my mental health and relationships.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the intentional practice of slowing down and deeply tuning in to the subtle sensations of the present moment. I like to think of it as a brain break or a mental massage. The benefits are noticeable even after just a few minutes and compound the more you do it.

Is mindfulness like meditation?

Mindfulness sometimes gets confused with meditation, but the two are not the same, although they do overlap. Meditation is one of many methods to be mindful, but it’s far from the only way. And for parents pulled in every direction, meditation is often an unrealistic standard. Luckily, there are other opportunities to get mindful during your normal daily activities without having to carve out an hour to sit crisscross applesauce alone in your room!

Where can I practice mindfulness as a parent?

Some of my favorite times of day to interrupt my internal monologue and constant stream of thoughts are while doing otherwise mindless activities, like going on a walk or washing the dishes. I also recommend trying to get mindful during activities that might feel challenging or stressful. Or during times where anxiety tends to bubble up within you, like during exercise (mindful movement), while waiting for an interview, before having a difficult conversation, or before getting in bed at night. In other words, times when you might typically reach for an external stimuli, like food, television, or your phone, to distract yourself.

What are the benefits of mindfulness?

Since taking a few minutes each day to be intentionally mindful, my anxiety has decreased, I ruminate less, focus better, and fall asleep more easily. I have also noticed that when I skip a few days, I’m less patient, quicker to react, and have a harder time making decisions. Like nourishing ourselves with food, sunlight, and good company, mindfulness is another tool to keep us parents balanced and healthy in a stressful world.

You can read more about the health benefits of mindfulness from the National Institutes of Health and the American Psychological Association.

But how do I actually practice everyday mindfulness as a parent?

1. Turn down the noise

Turn down the noise by turning off all audio input from the radio, Bluetooth, podcasts, etc. Instead, notice the sounds from your natural environment, whether it be the ticking of a clock, leaves rustling, birds chirping, or kids playing. The beauty is that you don’t need to eliminate all noise from your environment. Research shows that one of the consequences of our modern lives is that our brains are chronically stimulated by artificial noise, which effectively keeps the brain on high alert.

When you free the brain from the task of processing manufactured audio and visual input, you will also likely start to notice other external sensations from the physical world that we tend to overlook, like the feel of the blanket on your skin while lying in bed, the warmth of the sun on your check, a cool passing breeze on the back of your neck, or the water running over you in the shower. Noticing these subtle sensations helps ground you more deeply in the present moment.

2. Center your attention on breathing

Breathing with long, slow inhales and exhales through the nose, noticing the sensation of your belly expanding and contracting with each breath. Nasal breathing has been shown to improve blood flow and stimulate the vagus nerve, which calms the nervous system. When I’m out for a run or a walk, I challenge myself to only breathe in and out through my nose and to bring each breath as deeply into my lungs as I can. This takes all of my conscious intention and attention, so the intrusive and ruminating thoughts don’t even have space to enter my mind.

I often tell people that breathing is our superpower. It has the power to influence our physical and mental state, in both positive and negative ways, depending on how we use it. Simply noticing whether you are holding your breath, breathing shallowly or erratically, or breathing through your mouth, can help alert you to being in a negative state of mind or holding tension in your body. And we can only begin to change something once it has entered our awareness.

3. Acknowledge thoughts as they come and then let them pass.

Allowing our brains to exist in the present and take a break from rumination, worry, or planning is not a simple on/off switch. Even after turning off the audio and focusing on your breath, you will inevitably still have thoughts entering your brain. After all, our brains are accustomed to thinking, not resting!

So when this happens, try not to judge or panic. Instead, accept and greet your thought, and then let it fade away. I do this by simply labeling a thought: “thought.” You can also imagine that each thought is a bubble, and you can simply pop them as they come. Or you can picture your thought as a balloon that you are letting float away. By fighting or trying to ignore your thoughts, they may take on more power than you want, but by non-judgmentally acknowledging them, you can cut them off at the pass and return to noticing your breath and your sensory environment.

Are there tips or tricks that you use that help you practice mindfulness as a parent? Let us know in the comments.