Whether the holidays are pure joy, absolute chaos, or somewhere in between, the break from school is typically a nice reprieve from school for kids. What we forget sometimes is that after the fun-filled days of visiting family, playing in the snow, or cozying up with hot chocolate and movies, the kids have to return to the reality of school and all that goes with that. School provides a consistent routine and clear expectations. Kids may complain, but school provides a sense of comfort to know what’s coming next and what the rules are.
So when the chaos has ended, and it’s time to get back into the swing of things, here are some ways to help your kids cope with back-to-school anxiety after the holidays:
Communicate
Talk to your kids about why getting back to school is important and what they have to look forward to. This doesn’t mean telling them, “Well, too bad, you have to go.” It’s about reminding them what the benefits of school are—academically and socially. Remind them of the friends they’ll see, the activities they will start again, and the new outfit or shoes they get to show the teacher.
Validate
Don’t dismiss the concerns your child brings up about going back to school. Validate them first and then discuss them if necessary. Some kids worry about things that may seem trivial, but for them, it’s not. What if the teacher changed their seat? You may say, “Oh, no big deal,” but reassure them that you understand things might be different or hard, and that that doesn’t mean they don’t go and do things. Maybe they’re worried that their friend has a new BFF. Expressing themselves and their concerns they have doesn’t always warrant fixing the problem or convincing them it’s not a big deal. Sometimes listening and hearing their words can make a huge difference.
Collaborate
If you think your child will need additional support when they return to school, give the teacher a heads-up. You may want to share some of the concerns your child has expressed, or you may feel like a simple ‘hey, today may be difficult’ is enough. Either way, communicate relevant information. Sometimes the school counselor or a trusted adult can provide a proactive check-in, but they won’t necessarily know it’s needed if we aren’t working together.
Tips for during holiday break
It’s so easy to get into the holiday spirit and let all structure and routine go out the window. But before you do that, think about what routines might be best left as is, even during the break.
My daughter maintains a relatively consistent bedtime routine even during breaks. The tasks, as well as the time to get in bed, tend to stay within a half hour of the school night routines. Obviously, there are exceptions, but about 80% of the time, we keep to the schedule.
We also continue with her ‘homework’, which in second grade is just 15 minutes of reading. It’s not a daily requirement, but we build it into bedtime so we don’t get out of the habit when the dreaded homework assignment sheet comes home.
Start a new routine or add a little something to make the first few days special. Give your child the time and space they need, leading up to and after the return to school. If it’s not time and space they need, give them the extra attention and cuddles after a long day at school.
You know your child best, and you know what they may need for their own anxieties. Meet them where they are at and don’t assume they can or will push through just because you did or their older sibling was fine. At the end of the day, your child needs to know that you care and you are there to help them.
