February is a month of love, but let’s be honest, keeping the spark alive in a marriage goes beyond just Valentine’s Day. Marriage requires consistent effort and intentionality. So, this month, let’s explore ways to nurture our connection and keep these feelings all year round.
Here are 5 tips to ignite the spark in your marriage that has helped keep our spark well-lit over the years:
Prioritize Connection
Everyone has different schedules and things they enjoy, so how we prioritize connection will look different. For us, it is just about spending time together. With four kids, that time is usually not spent alone, but for us as long as we are near each other doing something we enjoy together that is prioritizing our connection for us. Some other suggestions are regular date nights, putting the phones in another room when you are together, trying a new activity or hobby together, or creating daily rituals or habits like sharing coffee together in the morning, reading your bible together, or even a simple goodbye kiss each morning before you each start your days.
Keep the Romance Alive
Planning a romantic getaway would be amazing (we have never been away just the two of us since having kids), but that is not in the cards for us in this season of life. So keeping the romance alive is a lot about surprising each other. Sometimes he grabs me a $4.99 bouquet of flowers from Price Chopper on the way home, makes us breakfast before he leaves for work, or grabs my hand as we walk together with the kids. It’s the little things for us. I always text him in the morning when I get up and vice versa. Digital loves notes. When we get the chance to go out to dinner, he always makes me feel like I did on our very first date. It’s going to look different for every couple, but maintaining that butterfly feeling when with each other is so important.
Celebrate Eachother
Celebrating each other is important no matter what stage you are in a relationship. It doesn’t matter if the success is small or big because knowing you appreciate them and all they do is sometimes all that matters. Knowing that my husband is always in my corner celebrating my wins makes me smile just writing about it. Sometimes, all I need to hear is the acknowledgment that what I did was great. And this goes for him as well, he is a word-of-affirmation guy (if you haven’t already read the Love Languages books then I highly recommend you start now), so reminding him how proud I am of him is huge.
Nurture Intimacy
The definition of intimacy is close familiarity or friendship; closeness. It doesn’t just mean sexual intimacy. For us, it’s about spending time together cuddling on the couch, holding hands, and unexpected hugs. It is important to make time for physical affection, both romantic and playful. My biggest tip is that intimacy is going to ebb and flow throughout the seasons of marriage. Lots of life happens in the early years of marriage like pregnancy, kids, and hormones. Just remember to communicate openly and work together to find what works for both of you.
Reminisce About The Good ‘Ol Days
As parents of four kids, both working, homeschooling, and activities, life can seem busy and overwhelming. Reminiscing together about the good ol’ days can be incredibly powerful, especially in a moment when life feels hard. It not only strengthens the relationship but also provides a much-needed break from the current demands of parenthood. Those good ol’ days memories remind us of the love and joy we have shared throughout our relationship and marriage.
Some people dislike Valentine’s Day, and we don’t really celebrate it, but I like to let February be a wonderful reminder to prioritize our marriage. By making a conscious effort, you can keep the spark alive and build a long-lasting love that will continue to flourish for many, many years.
What are your favorite ways to keep the spark in your marriage? Share your tips in the comments below.
