A quick Google search of “the most joyous time of year” will yield Christmas as the answer. No matter which holiday you celebrate, December is known to be a happy and joyous month!
Although joyous, there needs to be more discussion around the stress that this time of year can bring, and the immeasurable amount of tasks added to the plate of the magic makers—usually moms!
Here are some of the tasks that moms may face during a typical holiday season:
Sending Out Holiday Cards
- Taking or finding a suitable family photo. If taking a new photo, this task includes securing cute, festive, coordinating outfits. Making sure the kids (and yourself) are clean, fed, and hopefully in good moods. Finding someone to take the photo.
- Choosing and ordering the cards.
- Addressing all the cards means keeping the family & friends address list up to date and reaching out to people who may have moved, adding new friends, etc. Also, make sure you have 50+ stamps ready to go.
Gift Buying
- For the kids: It’s not always as easy as ordering on Amazon from the couch. One year, I searched several stores for a specific toy, and my mom finally found it out of state! For kids who believe in Santa, there’s the added stress of making sure you have the items that they specifically asked Santa for. For families with more than one child, making sure each kid has an equal amount of gifts under the tree can be stressful. We also have to figure out what’s fair if some gifts are more expensive than others but you want under the tree to look equitable.
- For the family: Some families may choose to not do adult gifts. Others do gifts for everyone (think in-laws, aunts/uncles, cousins/nieces/nephews). Some do a Secret Santa-style gift exchange. There is a large mental load that goes into thinking of what to buy various family members, especially those you are not very close with.
- Teachers/childcare providers: You may want to gift your children’s teachers, bus drivers, or specialists. Before you know it, the list of who you’re buying for becomes quite long.
- Yankee Swap / White Elephant: Add that work gift exchange to your long list of purchases to make.
- Toy Drives/Donations: Suddenly there’s a toy drive happening at work, at the dance, at gymnastics, at church, at your dentist! Deciding which organizations to donate to, what to buy, and how much you feel comfortable donating that year is another thought on your mind.
- Stockings: Just when you think you’re DONE, you remember the stockings.
Other considerations for gift buying:
- Cost: If you’re budget-conscious like me, A LOT of time and energy is spent finding deals and comparing prices across multiple stores. You also need to be prepared to shop EARLY (Prime Days, Black Friday).
- Hiding the gifts, which can become quite stressful as your kids get older and start poking around more!
- Wrapping the gifts (and worrying that your kid will get out of bed and see you, thus ruining the magic of Santa forever!)
Decorating the house
A lot of people enjoy a festive home and switching out the décor after Thanksgiving day may be on your to-do list. Moms can also feel pressure to decorate to a certain level if they compare themselves to others.
Festive experiences
Should we do the Polar Express? How about the Festival of Lights? When/where should we go see Santa? Do we need a ticket/reservation?
Elf on the Shelf
25 days of pure panic making sure you don’t forget to move the Elf. Running downstairs at the very last second in the morning. Wondering if your elf is as fun as your daughter’s friend’s elf who took a marshmallow bath in the crockpot. IYKYK.
Putting Out Milk & Cookies for Santa
Mom makes sure cookies are available on Christmas Eve. And don’t forget the reindeer food for the front lawn…and the carrots for Rudolph!
Holiday Parties
Parties can be fun…but also…A LOT. Mom usually makes a dish to bring to the party. Mom makes sure the kids have festive outfits and packs the bag. Kids may become overstimulated at parties, be out of routine, skip naps, and it can be a stressful day.
School Events
I think school events are fun! But it adds to the mental load. And don’t forget the class party (send in a decorated goodie bag with snacks, a festive napkin, and a note from home). There’s also a holiday pajama day I need to remember or else my child will feel left out. Make sure to block off your work schedule for the chorus holiday concert. Hats off to the PTO moms who have added the additional task of planning and executing a school-wide Breakfast with Santa event (in the spare time they don’t have!).
Advent Calendars
Many families will do advent calendars. I have seen simple ones with a small piece of daily chocolate, and more unique ones including a daily holiday activity to do or a new book to open each day. Mom is likely tasked with buying/making the advent calendar, which may need to include several different options for varying ages.
Toy Organization
Before the holidays, many moms prepare for an influx of toys by going through the current toys. What should be donated, and where? What can I sell on Facebook Marketplace? Can I post it on the town-free site? Do any of my friends want these toys? Talking pictures and posting/texting toys that you are ready to pass down is time-consuming. Then, after receiving an enormous amount of gifts from various people and Santa, Mom typically is the one to find a home for everything. Reorganizing and restructuring playrooms and bedrooms to accommodate the new items is not only time-consuming, but it takes thought. It’s important to me that I set up my children’s spaces in a way that is most conducive to play.
Hosting On The Day Of
If you’re hosting the family for the actual holiday, it can be an enormous amount of work. You’re trying to enjoy Christmas morning with your family but also stressed out of your mind that 15 people are going to come over in just a few hours. There are gifts and wrapping paper everywhere. The kids are off the wall. You have a long list of foods to prepare. The toilet needs to be cleaned. The first car pulls up and you’re still in your matching Christmas pajamas. I’m tired just thinking about it!
This list is overwhelming. So what can we do? Somethings gotta give, we can’t do it all.
Here are some tips to help the mental load of the magic makers this holiday season:
Ask for help.
- If you have a partner, include them! My husband does a lot of present wrapping. He also thoroughly enjoys doing the Elf on the Shelf.
- If you’re hosting, ask your guests to bring a dish to share!
- Task your partner with buying gifts for their side of the family.
- If you’re stressed about your kids getting into packages that are left on the front steps, have them delivered to a neighbor’s house instead.
- If feasible, ask someone to watch the kids or drop them off at a “Parents Night Out” event and use that time to do holiday prep with your partner. It’s more fun doing it together! I’ve seen advertisements for Parents Night Out at various gyms and dance studios in the area.
Take shortcuts.
- You don’t have to make everything homemade (unless you want to!). Order from a local bakery, and get catering from a restaurant. There is no shame in supporting locals and taking something off your plate.
- I know families who don’t wrap their gifts. They display the gifts unwrapped under the tree.
- Pay extra on Shutterfly to have your cards addressed and mailed for you.
- Send a holiday e-mail or social media post instead of a traditional card.
- Forget the complicated elf setups that use props and make a mess; just move the elf from shelf to shelf..which is actually the original intention of the elf!
- If you have a large amount of used toys to re-home before the big day, offload them all at once at a local charity, Savers, or as a large bundle on Facebook. Getting rid of it all at once will save you a lot of time compared to individually posting each item.
Say no when you want to.
If you don’t feel up to attending a party or hosting, just say no. The people who love you will understand.
Scale it back.
You’re not a bad mom if you skip holiday cards for a year. You don’t have to give a Pinterest-worthy DIY teacher gift that you saw on a reel – a simple gift card and a note will do! Decide with the adults in your family if it could be a good time to stop exchanging and to transition to kid-only gifts. We did this a few years back and it was a game-changer! Focus on quality gifts for the kids vs. quantity.
It’s okay to keep it simple.
Kids usually are content with less and it’s often the parents who are trying to “keep up with the Joneses”. Keep the focus on family and togetherness.
