Let’s face it, life is hectic. When you add managing a family into the mix, whatever that entails for you, some days seem unbearable. If you’re like me, you work hard to find a routine and a way to balance work, school, family functions, play dates, extracurricular activities, and all the other day-to-day things that come up. And right when you feel like you’ve figured it out, it’s the middle of June and school is out for the summer. If you are like me, summer comes with lots of extra family fun and stress.
As someone who works in schools, everything changes for me. I only work a few days all summer, lucky me! But with that ‘free time’ comes my daughter and me spending every minute together. I love her and I love spending the extra time with her, especially when we can pack up and visit family or go hang out by a pool or lake. But with each day that passes, the risk to my sanity rises. I imagine working parents feel the same way—balancing their jobs with childcare or camp or endless requests for summer plans. And as an aside, let me just say I appreciate you stay-at-home parents for managing this all year round.
Here are 4 tips to help prioritize your sanity during the summer:
Write it down
I still use a paper and pen to write myself notes, and I have a wall calendar I use to keep track of plans. So, whether you’re old school like me or you prefer an app or the calendar on your phone, write down your plans. Don’t be afraid to document some of the fun afterwards. You might also want to jot down the reminders of how to make that beach trip better next time or what splash pads are best for your kids. Our memories aren’t what they used to be, am I right?
Follow a routine
During the school year, we have a fairly consistent routine. We’re up within the same 10-minute window and out the door within the hour. Bedtime is predictable, so even when she doesn’t want to go to bed, she knows when it’s time. We thrive on consistency in certain areas. Then June hits, and we don’t have to worry about waking up early and refreshed for school, so out the window with our routine. But that has stopped. We maintain a routine. I don’t mean mapping out every minute, but we start the day the same, and we build in time to relax before we go exploring. So, we keep to some sort of bedtime routine, even if bedtime is later some nights than others.
A routine allows us to be on the same page. No more 6 or 7am requests to go to the park just because it’s summer. But also, as silly as it might sound, we build spontaneous trips into our routine. This allows dedicated time to try a new adventure without spinning into chaos when it doesn’t fit into our day. It gives an outline to stick to, with opportunities for flexibility within it.
Take time to recharge
I believe that as a society, we are afraid to say no and rock the boat in our relationships. Unfortunately, constantly saying yes despite our need to take time for ourselves leads to higher frustration levels, lower tolerance, and less sanity. So take time to recharge your battery – rely on your people, ask for help, engage in self-care. Beyond that, help your family recharge (after you have, of course).
Maybe this is dedicated quiet time: reading, listening to music or a podcast with ear buds, drawing, or yoga. Perhaps it is a trip to the salon or a hike along your favorite trail. Whatever it is, and whoever is involved, the purpose needs to be to relax and recharge so you can continue chugging along.
Provide incentives
Professionally, I work as a behavior analyst. I encourage reinforcing positive behaviors ALL the time. This looks different for everyone. Whether it’s praise, hugs, high-fives, or something more structured, we all want some sort of acknowledgement that what we are doing is right. Find what works for you and your kids and outline how to work towards that incentive this summer.
You want your son to read more throughout the summer; maybe he can earn time for electronics by reading. If your kids are constantly bickering and fighting, maybe they can collaboratively earn a special trip. Your daughter doesn’t like to keep her room clean, perhaps she has a checklist, and when everything is checked off, she gets to plan that next spontaneous trip.
This can take effort, but finding what actually works and being clear about what is expected to earn the reward is essential. Visual charts, like chore charts or behavior charts, are commonly used because they can appeal to kids. But if you do some sort of incentive, you have to understand your role as well. Be clear about what is expected, and follow through. Put in the effort up front and reap the rewards as your kids learn more skills and gain independence.
Whatever you do to make it through summer in one piece, know you are not alone. Use these tips to prioritize your sanity during summer. If you have any tips to prioritizing your sanity during summer, let us know in the comments!
Hang in there, mamas (and dads, grandparents, caregivers, etc.), we’ve got this!
