Solo parenting during a busy season is a different kind of tired. But also, is there really ever a season where solo parenting is easy?
Not just “I need a nap” tired. I mean reheating the same coffee four times while someone cries because their banana broke in half tired. The kind of tired where you finally sit down after bedtime and realize you’ve been overstimulated since 6:14am and haven’t had a single complete thought in your own head all day.
When your partner is traveling, working overtime, staying late, or just in one of those heavy work seasons, everything shifts. Suddenly you’re carrying the schedules, meals, daycare pickups, emotional regulation, bedtime battles, dishes in the sink, and the invisible mental checklist that somehow never stops running.
Listen. I know people love saying “you’ve got this,” but sometimes? It genuinely feels like I do not, in fact, got this. Some days I am thriving. We’re dancing in the kitchen, everyone’s fed, nobody’s crying, and I almost convince myself I could do this forever. Other days I’m whispering “please stop touching me for one minute” while holding a toddler on my hip and trying not to lose my mind because someone dumped an entire basket of clean laundry onto the floor I JUST cleaned.
Motherhood is humbling like that
One thing I’ve learned during these seasons is that you cannot hold yourself to normal standards when you’re solo parenting. You just can’t. This is not the season for perfection. This is the season for survival mode with tiny sprinkles of joy tossed in where you can find them. Frozen pancakes? Amazing. Screen time so you can breathe for twenty minutes? Say less. Paper plates because you physically cannot look at another dish? Take my money.
The biggest thing that helps me is lowering the pressure I put on myself to make every day magical. Your kids do not need a perfectly curated childhood every second of every day. They need safety. Consistency. Love. Connection. They need you. And honestly? Sometimes connection looks like laying on the couch together eating popsicles while Bluey plays in the background because everybody is too tired to function properly. That still counts.
Actually, those are usually the moments they remember anyway
I also think the hardest part of solo parenting is the transition time. That stretch between daycare pickup and bedtime feels like running a marathon while someone repeatedly asks you for snacks you literally already gave them. Everyone’s tired. Everyone’s overstimulated. The kids can feel your stress even when you’re trying your best to hide it behind your “okayyyy guys let’s clean up!” voice that gets progressively less convincing throughout the evening.
So I started simplifying our nights. Not in some aesthetic influencer way either. I mean realistically. Music while we clean up toys. Easy dinners. Baths skipped if everyone’s melting down. Movie night on a random Tuesday because, why not? Earlier bedtime for literally everyone including me. Tiny routines make hard seasons feel less chaotic. Kids love predictability, but honestly, so do moms who are running on caffeine and determination.
And can we talk about the guilt for a second?
Because even when your partner is working hard and doing their best, there can still be resentment creeping in around the edges. Not because you don’t appreciate them, but because being “on” every second of the day is exhausting, and often isolating.
And honestly, sometimes there’s almost a sense of relief in knowing you’re fully solo parenting for a bit. Not because it’s easy, because it absolutely isn’t, but because your brain stops waiting. You stop wondering who’s helping with bedtime or whether someone else is stepping in. The expectations shift, and suddenly your mind can focus on just getting through the night instead of carrying the disappointment of hoping for help that may not come. Sometimes they get uninterrupted drives, adult conversations, lunch breaks, silence; meanwhile I’m negotiating with tiny dictators about why licking the grocery cart is revolting.
It’s okay to admit this season is hard without making anyone the villain.
You’re allowed to miss having help. You’re allowed to feel touched out. You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed by being needed constantly. That does not make you ungrateful. It makes you human. One thing I wish more moms heard during these seasons is this: ask for help before you’re drowning. Text the friend. Call your mom. Accept the coffee drop-off. Say yes when someone offers to take the kids for an hour. We were never meant to do motherhood completely alone, even though so many of us try to prove we can.
And if I’m being really honest, some of my hardest parenting days have also been the ones that reminded me how deeply I love my boys. Because even after the chaos, the whining, the bedtime tears, the overstimulation, and the exhaustion… they still crawl into my lap like I’m their safe place.
There’s something both heartbreaking and special about being needed that much.
So if you’re in a busy season right now, this is your reminder that survival counts. A fed kid counts. A hugged kid counts. You apologizing after losing your patience counts. Showing up tired still counts. You do not have to do this perfectly to do it well. And one day this season will shift a little. The late nights will slow down. The calendar will open back up. You’ll finally drink a hot coffee and realize you made it through another hard stretch. Probably with dry shampoo, unmatched socks, and applesauce pouches in your purse.
But still. You made it. And I’m proud of you.
