Getting pregnant and finding out you’re having a new baby is so exciting and fun! Preparing littles for a new sibling is delicate and incredibly important because it helps them to adjust to the big change they will soon have. Doing so can also help them feel included and less jealous when the baby is born. It also gives them time to learn, and to become excited about the prospect of their new sibling!
When I found out I was having another baby, I was over the moon. It was a little while back, but the memories are clear as day. And sharing with my 2-year-old was interesting because he didn’t understand! We talked about the ultrasound picture and that it was actually not just a tiny blob but something that would soon turn into a full human—that was currently in Mama’s tummy!
We talked about it a little bit each day. When we saw friends who had babies we talked about how he would have a sibling when the baby was born. We got books from the library about babies. Also some about kids getting a new brother or sister. Becoming a big sibling is a big deal and grows little ones responsibilities so much. This way they feel special too.
About two months before the baby came, we got a toy baby. We got the Manhattan Toy Company baby doll but there are so many. It was a very helpful tool. He carried it gently (most of the time). We talked about what foods it could have. Milk only? Why? It wants to eat chips! And whether it could jump or walk or play games (I want to bring it to the pool with me when we swim). He put it to bed in the crib I had built for his new brother and put it in the high chair when we ate as a family. He even sang to it! We talked about how his new brother would be sitting in the car seat, and about the stroller (ours was the Uppababy Vista) having a second seat now!
Another way we worked to prep him was by trying to get his schedule incredibly consistent. This was challenging, but having a clear-cut routine did prove handy once the new baby came. Regardless of what chaos the baby brought about, the toddler was in a routine and would amenably comply!
We also were very open about what would change; sharing a room and where the baby would be in our home during different activities! Everyone has their own way of doing this, but this worked very well for us.
It was really scary and stressful and there is so much mom guilt associated with any change coming up for a child, basically ever. It’s really hard but important to work to mellow the situation and take things one step at a time. Change is hard for everyone, and it’s hard not to project our own struggles onto our children. Working through this helped my firstborn and me to have a close bond that we still share today, and I hope it lasts a lifetime!
Soon enough, our little toddler was well-equipped to understand the newness, and once the baby came, he knew not to feed him goldfish or offer him water. He knew not to try to pick him up, or to poke him, or to shake him. It was wonderful. He felt confident about becoming a big brother, and we truly felt that he was ready, excited, and happy to have his brother once he was born!
