When my husband’s paternity leave was over, sh*t got real.
Life (and our house) got a little bit messier, more hectic and all around busy. With a newborn and a toddler, we barely had any time alone together. I was missing him and our daily check-ins.
We weren’t always in the same room to catch each other up on things, mention new ideas or share an upcoming family gathering that needed to be added to our Google calendar. I’d drop notes into my phone and set reminders to fill him in on stuff “later”, but then “later” became after the kids’ bedtime and by that time, we were both sprawled on the couch with one eye open.
To be honest, what we really needed was sleep. (If you have a toddler and/or a newborn, I’m sure this resonates.) Our nightly conversations often took the backseat.
Enter “The Sunday Check In”.
It seemed silly at first. A weekly check-in with my husband who I see every day? Okay…
But, here’s the thing. When you add two kids, high-pressure jobs, a new house, groceries, endless bills, appointments, plans, and weekend happenings into the mix — a weekly touch base became a must.
As we thought of things the other should know and we weren’t close by, we’d take note of it in our phones or on a pad of paper. Of course, if things were urgent we wouldn’t wait for Sunday to share it, but overall, most things waited.
Come Sunday night, after the house was quiet and tidy, we’d have our check in on the couch. No phones (other than viewing our lists), no TV, no distractions. Just a nice conversation to get everything out in the open — including bumps in our week, things we’ve been meaning to discuss and even things that had be irking us about, well, each other. Nothing was off limits.
Going into a fresh week with a clean slate was the best feeling. We were on the same page with our relationship, kids and busy schedules. It felt good to be organized and aligned. We were set up for success.
Do you check in with your partner hourly, daily or weekly? What works for you?
I’m finding “The Sunday Check-In” to not only be grounding but also a new way to strengthen our marriage as we parent, pursue our own goals, and support each other.
If you give it a try, I’d love to hear how it’s working for you, too.
