Santa vs. No Santa :: Two Moms Share Their Different Christmas Traditions

Co-written article by two of our contributors, Carly Bridgeman and Mary DeSouza. 

Every December, homes fill with a shared sparkle, and families celebrate the holidays in many different ways. For some, Santa Claus is part of the magic; for others, the focus stays on faith and gratitude. We are two moms who celebrate the same holiday through different traditions, yet with the same heart, love, connection, and meaning.

Meet Carly (welcoming Santa with intention) and Mary (focusing on the heart of the holiday), and their different Christmas traditions below:

Mary Says: Focusing on the Heart of Christmas

For our family, Christmas has always been about gratitude and celebrating the birth of Jesus. We want our kids to understand that this season is about love, generosity, and faith rather than fantasy or materialism. Keeping our focus on the true meaning of Christmas helps them see it as a time to be thankful and to give, not just receive.

We don’t include Santa in our celebration. It is not out of judgment toward families who do, but because it simply fits our values better. We emphasize honesty in all things, and it felt natural to be truthful about Santa from the start. Our children have always known that different families have different traditions, and that’s something to respect. For us, being honest hasn’t taken away any magic.

Carly Says: Welcoming Santa with Intention

When it came to Santa, our decision was almost made for us. During our first Christmas as parents, I wanted to do everything! The decorating, photos, and yes, a Santa picture. Our daughter was under a year old, so it was more for me than her. By her second Christmas, she recognized Santa as part of the season, even if she didn’t yet understand who he was. We’ve kept things simple: stockings with little surprises and gifts under the tree from Mom and Dad. Santa is present in our home, but in a lighthearted way! He is not the source of all gifts, but he is a character who symbolizes joy and generosity.

We want her to enjoy the story, but also to grow up knowing that the real magic of Christmas comes from family and love, not what’s wrapped under the tree.

Mary Says: Honesty & Wonder Can Coexist

People sometimes assume that if you don’t ‘do Santa,’ your kids miss out on wonder. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Our home is filled with Christmas lights, carols, baking, and laughter. We decorate the tree, read the story of Jesus’s birth, and spend time with loved ones. The excitement in our children’s eyes isn’t about make-believe…it’s about joy and gratitude.

We’ve also never had to worry about “the reveal.” There’s no heartbreak later when they discover Santa isn’t real. That honesty builds trust, and that’s its own kind of magic.

Carly Says: Imagination & Storytelling Have Value Too

For us, Santa lives in that sweet space between imagination and fun. We treat him as a story, much like fairy tales or bedtime adventures. We haven’t gone into great detail about what he “does,” because at our daughter’s age, the joy is in the pretend. I want her to have room for imagination and learn to dream, play, and see the world as full of possibilities.

Even so, we make sure she knows that gifts come from people who love her. Santa might fill her stocking, but Mommy and Daddy are the ones staying up late wrapping presents! For our family, it’s all about balance: keeping the story magical without making it misleading.

Mary Says: Teaching Generosity and Gratitude

Without Santa as the giver, we often talk about why we give. Generosity is part of how we live our faith. Our kids help pick and wrap gifts for others, and we focus on the joy of giving rather than receiving. Whether it’s baking for neighbors or donating toys, they see that Christmas is about sharing love.

Carly Says: Same Lesson, Different Path

That’s something our families absolutely share. Even though we include Santa, we still make generosity a hands-on part of December. We bake cookies for friends, give to local drives, and talk about how lucky we are to have what we do. We want our daughter to understand that giving matters, and that the joy multiplies when it’s shared.

Mary Says: Respecting Differences

One of the first things we taught our children was that other families believe differently, and that’s okay. When friends talk about Santa, my kids know not to say anything that might spoil it. It’s about understanding that every family celebrates in its own way, and that diversity of traditions is something beautiful.

Carly says: Celebrating What Connects Us

We’re doing the same from the other direction. Our daughter knows that some families don’t do Santa, and that’s fine. We frame it as “every family makes their own Christmas.” That simple truth builds empathy. When she sees that joy can look different for everyone, she learns one of the most important lessons of the season: kindness.

Mary Says: The Simplicity of a Non-Santa Christmas

Our Christmas mornings are still full of sparkle and laughter. We keep it simple. We have gifts from loved ones, cinnamon rolls in the oven, music playing, and a feeling of peace. It’s joyful and real, rooted in gratitude. Without the fantasy, we’ve discovered how rich the celebration already is.

Carly Says: The Shared Spirit

Even though our families approach the season differently, I think we both end up in the same place. We want our children to experience joy, to feel loved, and to grow in kindness. Santa or no Santa, those values don’t change. The magic isn’t who brings the gifts, but the love behind them.

Together We Say: The True Meaning Shines Through

Our two families might hang our stockings for different reasons, but we’re celebrating the same truth—Christmas is about love, hope, and connection. Whether it’s faith in Christ, the joy of giving, or the wonder in a child’s eyes, the heart of the season doesn’t depend on a single tradition.

Togetherness… whether that means Santa-believing, non-Santa, and everything in between, and finding their own way, is what makes the season meaningful. Because the real magic of Christmas isn’t in the myth; it’s in the love we share and the memories we create together.