I feel compelled to start this with a HUGE disclaimer. Formula, nursing, exclusive pumping, or some combo of all methods is perfect. Fed is best. Your mental health is an important factor in that decision. Basically, what I’m saying is there’s no wrong way to feed your baby. This is what I’ve experienced and what I was going through as I decided to take a different route with my second baby.
My journey with my first baby
My first was exclusively breastfed until just before his second birthday. I loved nursing and had the luxury of one kid to be able to turn a feeding into a contact nap (a habit I knew I couldn’t do with a second baby).
With my first, I had a “just enough” supply. It was a bit stressful pumping enough to leave a bottle because it took several pumping sessions, pumping throughout the day, to make one bottle. With him, I didn’t consider making the switch. I never hit a breaking point.
I was confident I could do the same with my second baby.
If he latched well, if we could figure out how to nurse, then I didn’t think twice about formula. Breastfeeding and introducing bottles went smoothly while my husband was home on leave. I pumped a bit and introduced breastmilk bottles. I had better output with the breastpump that I got this time around.
Then my husband went back to work, and I was solo parenting with my baby and toddler. I made sure not to let the baby fall asleep on me to keep the nursing sessions short, so I could give my toddler the attention he so rightly deserved. Then I would try to pump.
But what do you do with the baby while you’re pumping? My toddler was getting impatient and understandably needed attention. Then I would end up in a situation where it had been too long and I couldn’t pump because it would be too close to the next feeding.
There would be times I would give the baby a bottle and not have time to pump and worry about “wasting” milk because I didn’t replace what I used with a pump session.
This is when combo feeding occurred to me.
I started feeling really guilty if I didn’t get to pump during the day. This is when the first thought of combo feeding occurred to me. But I didn’t act on it. Probably a month later was the situation that pushed me forward. It was hot. We were at my in-laws. I hadn’t brought a bottle because I was planning to just nurse like usual, and I saved those bottles for naps or running errands by myself.
I was hot, and so was the baby. He was crying and crying. It was time for him to eat. He wouldn’t latch. Just kept crying. My husband and I did everything to cool us both down, and still, he was bawling. Finally, with him in just a diaper on a bed and me leaning over him so our bodies weren’t touching, he calmed down and finally ate.
The next week, I took home a sample canister of formula from the doctor’s office waiting room. I put it on the cabinet and felt better because I had it. But I kept pumping and putting pressure on myself to offer my new son the same experience as his brother.
It probably took a month before I asked the pediatrician how to introduce formula. And a couple more weeks before I fed him his first formula bottle. When I finally gave him that first formula bottle, he ate like normal. He didn’t care that it was different, and I cried.
Over the next month, I realized it didn’t have to be all or nothing. It was such a comfort to throw a measured formula and a bottle of water into the diaper bag, just in case. I knew that I could always feed my baby, and I had such peace of mind. I clung to exclusively nursing for so long, stressing over doing things differently the second time. This combination is working for me and both my kids, and I’m grateful for the peace of mind that this decision has brought. I wish you the best in your feeding journey and encourage you to listen to your mother’s intuition about what’s right for you and your baby.
